Drafting: “in dreams our fathers leave no footsteps”

While I was going through my po friend’s manuscript this weekend, I came across the line, “In dreams we leave no evidence.” It’s a fantastic line, and I knew I wanted to shape it into something.

I put it as the first line and then returned to Rochelle Hurt’s poem “Infants of the Field.” There were some words like lupine, animal, and disappointment that I wanted to use, so I changed the opening line to “In dreams our fathers leave no footsteps.” I liked the mythic quality of that, so I ran with it: the fathers are animal forces that lurk outside; the mothers must protect the children.

It begins,

“In dreams our fathers leave no footsteps. Their animal anger, lupine fits of disappointment pacing in the shuddering wheat fields.”

It continues in prose form, and ends with the children waiting for their mothers to wake them.

This is a bit of a messy draft, and I’m embarrassed by what I have to show for it for the moment, but, hey, it’s a poem!

Happy writing!

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